Izumi

(no subject)

Whooo...I'm alive...sort of.

I'm very excited about Steven coming out to see me for two weeks tomorrow for my birthday and the chance to show him around Pottstown. I really like this city, the people are super friendly and considering I moved to one of the few major cities with a higher crime rate than LA (Philadelphia is pretty bad, but I wonder if there's really more crime, or if it's just more crime REPORTED. I mean, how many Spanish speaking only people will believe the cops will understand them right?), I feel a hell of a lot safer. Even the 'dangerous city' Norristown is a point lower on the crime scale than my old neighborhood. I mean this is what it breaks down too:

Philadelphia area average crime rate: 3.0 (or so)
Norristown average crime rate: 6.0

Nearly double...looks pretty bad right? But consider:

Los Angeles average crime rate: 6.2 (or so)
My old neighborhood's rate: 7.0

Even moving to the BAD city is an improvement over where I came from.

So yeah, Pottstown I think is either just above or below the regional rates which is a HUGE improvement for me and I've always saw crime and bad luck as being a fifty/fifty sort of thing. Either something bad is gonna happen, or it won't. The best thing is to just be prepared if you can and roll with the punches. People in a nearby town were complaining about flight paths of airplanes being changed to fly over their homes and were complaining about the safety issues since last year a jet plane dropped a HUGE almost foot large chunk of ice through someone's roof...but I mean, first what are the chances? And two? Like you can really avoid that...freak accidents will happen with airplanes over your house or not. I think they're really complaining about the lower property values it will cause but let's be realistic, with more planes and more expensive fuel, airlines need to be able to fly directly as possible to save money, and need to be able to alter their routes to avoid hitting each other. Of course growing up with airplanes always flying by I think they're being prissy wankers about it all. You don't even notice them.

Bah! So...Steven is coming on one of those EVIL AIREOPLANES! And I am HAPPY! Not to mention momma's been teasing me about the presents she's gotten me for my birthday on the tenth. Evil woman.

I love you all and you probably won't see me for the next two weeks. (Yeah big surprise right?)
Izumi

(no subject)

I hate fandom.

Online fandom at least.

I really think from now on I'm just going to stick to tabletop and tradition D&D style gaming for the most part because there you have to see people face to face and opinions are often overruled by the roll of the dice. Your characters are your characters, so there's no issues of cannon or not, being true to a character is the responsibly of the GM not me.

I mean, I just don't see the point of having to shift through all the petty people who don't LISTEN to other people when they're trying to make a point and just run around with their fingers in their ears because it's the internet and they don't have to be respectful or kind because there's no risk of being punched in the face.

I mean it, I've really had it with fandom. YES this IS about fandomsecrets post #100, secret number 5. I thought they meant me, I was right. Yazuu was the first canon character I'd ever played, I was younger and less experienced and didn't realize how much drama existed in these RPs yet. But I met some wonderful people, and some AWFUL people, good RPers, just AWFUL people in real life, and I learned a lot. I don't see how that should RUIN Yazuu for anyone who likes the fandom. It's just childish to blame something like that on me.

But it's been coming for a long time, this is really just the last straw. I have my friends who I actually talk to and like, but I'm purging all the CRAP from my time online that I possibly can. Shahni, Brittney, Case, Lauri, Lellian, Piper, and of course everyone from California of course I still care about you and love all of YOU. I'm just tired of the anonymous personalities online that have nothing better to do than harass people.

But really, I've had it. I ALREADY don't want to hear about any new anime or read any new manga. I'm over Japan and any related fandom. I enjoy playing Zelda, Dynasty and Samurai Warriors, Harvest Moon and other games JUST AS THEY ARE. Maybe making up other stuff would be fun, but I'm just going to stick to people like Jacki and Kelly and Nancy who are much more relaxed about things as well.

Even reading fandomsecrets gives me an ulcer when it's NOT about me. I have a lot of stress going on with working towards my BA in Accounting, dealing with having moved across the country and getting ready to get married. I just don't have the time or HEALTH to do such read it anyways like a masochist.

I mean it. A lot of you DON'T realize how serious it gets because you've never seen me get really really sick over this stuff. But I have PHYSICAL REACTIONS to things that distress me online, on TV, or even in books. It's a serious anxiety problem and I HAVE to take care of my health before I take care of fandom. I'm a little sad that a lot of my talks with certain people are usually only fandom related...but we haven't been talking much recently anyways, and my e-mail is always open if you just want to talk about whatever. But I'm going to let LJ well enough alone for a long time again I think. It's just an unusually powerful source of stress I JUST DON'T NEED.

I check my e-mail, I leave my AIM open, I might check DeviantArt from time to time but really, other than research my love affair with the internet is OVER.
Izumi

(no subject)

http://community.livejournal.com/fandomsecrets/23066.html#cutid1

Reading the comments here remind me why I never want to deal with communities again. It makes me sad because I don't make new friends anymore, but I also don't have to put up with anyone else's shit I don't want to.

Maybe I only RP with three people these days, but I know them well, the stuff is good and relaxing and there's no drama.

I wonder if I'll ever feel stable enough to get into another community without the fear of having totally anxiety attack breakdowns again and have to take another long hiatus from the internet entirely.

Idon'twanttobeanagoraphobegoddamnit
Izumi

Not dead yet! Part 3

We're safe in Harrisonburg, VA.

We were going to go to Harrisburg, PA, but momma just couldn't drive that far so we decided to average the super short Saturday drive with today and changed our reservation to make it only five hundred miles driven today. We have another three hundred tomorrow but if we get out early as planned we'll still be in very good shape.

Please pray that we will find an apartment to live in quickly because the place we're staying near Collegeville is VERY expensive.
Izumi

Not dead yet! The saga continues...

We are safe in our room at Lebanon, TN. However, both momma and I wish it had been Memphis instead. Today was definitely WAY too long with almost TWELVE HOURS on the road.

We've also re-arranged our plans. Since that was far too much we've decided that instead of an hour drive in to Philadelphia on Saturday we will stop tomorrow in Virginia for the night and add 150 miles to Saturday in effort to save our sanity. We NEED shorter days and this sort of balances the next two out. We'll be staying in Harrisonburg.

The dogs were stellar and so well behaved today and I'm sure it was very hard on them. The further East we go the better I feel though, less and less anxious more and more hopeful.
Izumi

Not dead yet! Part 2

Alright so you can't say Oklahoma has nothing. It has more than Texas. Which means hills...and trees. But it also has the HAZE OF GLOOMY DOOM.

It just SAT there blotting out the sky.

The last two hours on the road were pretty rough. And Nezumi was a problem the last fifty minutes and then finding the way INTO the hotel was a bitch. @_@

But we're in, our stuff is in and PLEASE PRAY FOR NO THUNDERSTORMS TONIGHT. There's a 50% chance and if there are we might be delayed a full day due to lack of SLEEP. To Dickon thunder sounds like angry people and he freaks out the entire time.

But we're in Oklahoma city and safe. Just stressed and tired. I hope tomorrow is better.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed
Izumi

Not dead yet! Part 1

As it says I'm not dead. Just in Gallup, New Mexico.

The last two days have been very tiring and I'm a little anxious at night, but mostly good during the days once we get going. Sort of the same stuff I'm used to when I travel.

Two nights down, three more until we reach the Collegeville area.